The Twilight Saga: New Moon

Synopsis

In the next chapter of the Twilight series, Bella Swan is distraught by the sudden leaving of her vampire sweetheart, Edward Cullen but her spirits are elevated when her longtime friendship with Jacob Black grows much deeper. Soon she finds herself in the middle of a world with werewolves, vampires, and her loyalties being tested.

Review

Absolutely boring! What happened? The first Twilight film was so much better. I’m just taken aback. All the hoopla and promoting and fanatics behind New Moon just for it to be a bland, jive, lackluster film that had no kind of 3-dimensional characters to hold onto?

Here’s the boring story. Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) is so darn heartbroken when Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson), her vampire boyfriend just abruptly breaks up with her and leaves town with his entire vampire family to protect her from the dangers of what they are. Home girl goes into a deep state of depression until she decides to snap out of it and start hanging with her childhood friend Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner), who is a member of the Quileute tribe. He gets real close to Bella after Edward leaves. Of course Jacob loves it. He’s so sweet on Bella. One problem, besides her still being in love with Edward, he has a secret too. Jacob’s a dag on werewolf. Heck, is no one mortal in this story? And why does everyone trust Bella with these behemoth secrets?

Anyhoo, Bella acts a fool and becomes an adrenaline junkie. She believes this is the only way to see her beloved Edward. However, she goes too far and Edward believes she is truly dead. And, what is a world without his human? So, he wants to die too. It becomes a race against the clock when Bella tries to stop Edward from going to the Volturi --vampire royalty-- to end his life. This all sounds juicy right? Now, what I don't get is, why is the trailer on the official New Moon site 10 times better than the movie?

The 2 main characters Bella and Edward were just like watching a white/pastel base paint dry. Bella never cracked a smile except I think twice. I know she was dejected as heck because her beloved Edward left her alone and lonely, but dang girl. You ain’t dead. Get a grip. She just aggravated me to no end. She was confused and fickle. But what truly cooked my last grit was the entire damsel in distress act and her two immortal boyfriends who always feel the need to protect her.

And to the Edward lovers, he’s not even in this film that much. But when he did come on screen and showed his boney chicken chest, the young girl went WILD. I just cracked up. I said, “For him?” Now I can understand the screams and “Oh mys” for Jacob. He looked like he just stepped out of a Men’s Fitness photo shoot, but for Edward? Mmm mmm mmm. I don’t think so.

What I don’t comprehend is the bright red eyeballs the vampires had. Okay, we all know that vampires are among us in the Twilight saga, but do they have to stand out so noticeably with the red eyeballs looking like Christmas tree bulbs? Come on now. What was the director thinking? In the first film, they didn’t look like that. I just don’t get it. And it still bewilders me to no end why when Edward the vampire goes into the sun, he sparkles like a bunch of diamonds. Now come on! Every vampire story I’ve seen, they get burnt up to a crisp in the sunbeams. Well, whatever, that’s not that important to me as how JIVE the dialogue was and the acting to go a long with it.

New Moon was just missing everything like a good dialogue, characters we could truly feel for, major action, chemistry and a female director that can truly understand how to portray teenage forbidden love. I sure hope the next installment to the Twilight Saga is better or at least goes back to its original roots with the first flick.

I was thoroughly disappointed in New Moon. I can’t deal with lack of zsa zsa zsu in my motion pictures. It was just too long, boring and corny. And, it doesn’t matter that I’m not some teeny-bopper girl. I really liked the first Twilight movie.

My Rating ~ 2 Reels

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